Building Zion - Part 4
Mourning with those that Mourn
Months later, my mother passed away. It happened pretty much on schedule from what her original doctor had predicted.
I’d love to tell you a story about how our friends and neighbors swooped in and took good care of us as we struggled through that time period. I remember that people were there to help, but honestly, I dont remember much from that particular part of my life. I remember family friends taking us kids school shopping that next school year, because dad was in no condition to keep up with all the details of life. I imagine tons of other things happened I’m simply not aware of.
So, lets wrap up the story there, and make some important observations about Zion based on my experiences from this period of my life.
Observation #1) Everyone has a need.
Each of the people in these stories had their own individual needs. These needs were so crippling for the individual that they simply could not bear it alone. Everyone has needs. People need people, its as simple as that.
Observation #2) Everyone has something to give.
I imagine if anyone had asked each of the people in these stories what “surplus” they had that they could share, none of them would have seen they had anything they could give. And yet, they had just the right amount of exactly what was needed.
No one would have thought to have looked at my mother on her death bed as someone who should be serving someone else. And yet, she had something to give, and her life was enriched because she did.
Observation #3) Money is not the answer.
I imagine that there was probably an amount of money that could have made each of those burdens bearable. Someone with really deep pockets could have lifted all the burdens through a financial contribution. But I think its worth noting that lifting those burdens using money would have left my Mother, Julie, and Ann feeling empty, not full.
In chapter 3 of John’s Revelation, in the letter to the angel of the church of the Laodiceans, the Lord writes: “Thou sayest, I am rich, and increased with goods, and have need of nothing; and knowest not that thou art wretched, and miserable, and poor, and blind, and naked.”
Consider the difference in the richness of the experiences that happened those years ago, because of the direct genuine interactions these women had with each other. And contrast that with how poor, and empty and miserable they might each have been if all of the needs had been met with simply having more money made available to them. Sure you can be “increased with goods, and have need of nothing”, but … are you not living a more empty hollow life when compared with the other possibility? Certainly, redistributing money is not what brings about Zion.
Observation #4) Its not a “Zero Sum” game.
There is an interesting phenomenon that can be seen in these three stories. The “amount” received by the receiver is “greater” than the “amount” given by the giver.
To explain that in another way, lets try to equate the burdens to “money” for the sake of comparison, you could say that Ann’s “cost” in bringing groceries was perhaps a couple of hundred dollars. For Julie, the groceries themselves were worth couple of hundred dollars. PLUS there was value in the time she didn’t have to go and get it. PLUS it pulled her out of a very depressing situation, depression what would have been felt to some degree by half a dozen other people in the home. Certainly the value Julie and her family received was ten times the value of what Ann invested.
The same goes for Julie accepting my brother and I into her home for a few weeks while my parents left the country. It may well have “cost” a thousand dollars or so to cover the cost of food, and the extra stress on her and her family. But certainly, the value received by my parents, was ten times the cost that Julie invested.
And when Ann visited with my mother day after day, pouring out her soul, the cost was nothing for my mother. In fact, she also benefited directly from the arrangement by more than the “cost”. And, certainly for Ann, it was worth at least ten times the value of whatever inconvenience my mother might have had.
When the value of a gift is greater than the cost of giving it, everyone involved is uplifted, the net result does not add up to what we had before. There was hidden value in the system that only existed once it was shared. Certainly, every one of us was “richer” than we had been before.
Observation #5) It can be uncomfortable.
Sometimes we have to ask for help. Sometimes we have to offer unsolicited help. Both of these situations can be uncomfortable. Sometimes receiving help can feel humbling.
My parents had to ask people to take care of their children for a while. My mother had to recognize that Ann needed a friend. Ann had to buy groceries not knowing if they would be appreciated (or even accepted). All of these situations were uncomfortable.
If we had not been able to do those uncomfortable things, our needs would have remained unmet. Certainly, we would have remained poor and miserable, and therefore not lived in Zion.
Observation #6) We still have struggles.
Ann’s husband was still deployed. My mother was still suffering from terminal cancer. Julie still had stress in her life, and more boys to feed than gallons of milk in the fridge.
But, everyone’s burden was now such that they could bear it. Our emotional situations were all in a better place, our physical situations were better than they would have been. Our friendships were stronger. We were spiritually edified by the opportunity to serve. Even though life was still difficult, surely we were blessed in all things.
Observation #7) The Anti-principle
There is a stumbling block on the way to Zion, and it is very well hidden. And, it absolutely must be noticed for what it is, and avoided. It is a very specific kind of pride that continually seeks to destroy Zion.
Metaphorically speaking, Zion’s foundation is built upon the Rock of our salvation, and not upon the backs of strong and resourceful men and women. To say that another way, Zion is not built on several “pillars” of the community. Meaning, there are not some small number of key individuals who are the “backbone” of Zion, and everyone else the recipients of their generosity and selfless giving.
The society we come from (Babylon) values “rugged individualism”. It encourages a person to take care of themselves, and share their excess with compassion. However, to receive assistance from others is somehow shameful. Because of this idea, it is common for people who have been blessed with enough and to spare to feel that they have been called upon to share until all others have their needs met. At the same time, when asked if they have any needs that could be taken care of by others, they reply that no one need be burdened by them.
At first, the other members of the community might well believe that these people have been blessed and have no needs to be met, and simply be thankful that their community is blessed to have such a resourceful, self sufficient person be a part of it. This is the great stumbling block of Zion. There is great pride in this thing. And pride will divide the people into classes. The rich and the poor. The haves and the have-nots. Those who provide and those who are provided for. And a community is not Zion when the rich see themselves differently than the poor.
When the Savior washed Peter’s feet, at first, Peter forbade him. He felt that certainly, he did not need Jesus to serve him. He didn’t want to be a burden. He didn’t want to feel the humility and vulnerability of admitting there was something someone else could do for him. This is pride. The Savior responded that if Peter would not accept this service, then he had no part in the kingdom of Heaven. To believe that OTHERS might NEED service, but that YOU DON’T need service, because you can handle it all by yourself. This is pride.
If you offer to help someone, but you would not accept help if the tables were turned, are you not judging that person in your heart. Judging yourself as better. They being humble and needy, and you being … resourceful and wealthy. This is pride. And so, I urge those who feel they have no needs to fall to their knees in deep repentance and ask God to forgive them for allowing pride to enter into their hearts, and repent for laying the seeds of division, and for judging their neighbor to be less valiant than themselves.
In Summary
To those who wish to live in Zion, I invite you to get together periodically (at least monthly) with others who also wish to live in Zion. And each person should openly admit their needs. And each person should consider their surplus after understanding the needs of the others. And each person should give. And each person should receive. And, when possible, the “cost” of the gift given should be small compared to the value of the gift received. And perhaps by doing these things, we can nourish the tree of Zion as it grows. And watch as our communities grow together into a beautiful, vibrant orchard.
